ANTM Episode 6 – New York Women

The house is divided between the “straight forward…realest ppl in the house” (read: bitches) Krista, Angelea, Anslee and Alasia and the “people who need each other“ (read: sorority sisters) Jessica, Brenda and Raina. Girls are mean! Angelea’s picking fights for what seems like no reason at all. Alasia’s stuck in a room with the white girls and they ignore her and talk like she’s not there. Probably for fear that she’ll start running her mouth and never stop. Still, it’s just mean. Wait a second, what about Alexandra? I guess the big girls don’t get to play at all! Anyway, back to the playground…

Tyra Mail – “when u walk in, u might have a fit.” Alasia makes the girls late for their teach with Miss J and Ann Shoket. “That’s the 18 year old...ness, coming out.” Well said Brenda. Ugh. Today’s lesson: How to dress for a go-see. The girls go to the Seventeen fashion closet and learn how to dress for their body type. The girls will have 5 minutes to go through clothes and accessories and build the right outfit. Cue running and scrambling…no screaming this time…weird. The girls learn a few things and get to keep their outfits. Ah, there’s the screaming!

In the limo back to the loft, Jessica and Alasia get into it over Alasia being late and inconsiderate of everyone else. Of course Alasia flips out. Krista and Angelea are thoroughly enjoying themselves until Angelea says something stupid and Brenda calls her “uneducated.” Oh no you di’n’t! “My name is Brenda, not bitch.” Hahaha…this girl’s such a fool. She annoys the hell outta me. Back at the loft, Angelea parks herself in enemy territory, just looking for a reason to fight with Brenda. Or maybe just anyone?

Tyra Mail – “DING DONG!” The doorbell rings. A model delivers an invitation for the girls to attend a Tinsley Mortimer handbag launch party. They arrive and meet Mr Jay, who announces that their challenge will be a one-on-one with Tinsley, who will judge them on their style and personality. It’s all about public perception. Alasia is worried (as she should be!) about how she’s supposed to act around industry people. Brenda isn’t at all worried, she’s used to uppity parties. Gag me. The girls mingle until it’s their turn to sit down with Tinsley (worst name ever, btw). Anslee gets caught on a fashion question, and Alasia frightens Tinsley with her crazy talk and lack of filter. At least she’s being herself! Jay announces that Jessica won best photo last week, so she’ll get to participate in the challenge…at this point it’s kinda obvious she’s the challenge winner, because they never say that before they announce it. The winner will get to pick a friend to participate in a Seventeen photoshoot with her, so double winner Jessica gets to pick two friends. Guess who…her favourite roomies, Brenda and Raina.

Back at the nuthouse…Alasia is eavesdropping on Raina’s “confessional” where she hears Raina talking bad about her. She comes out all “oh…hey girl” and Alasia’s not having it. She goes into the confessional and starts smack-talking Raina. Of course Raina’s outside the door and invites Jessica over, and they start doing some weird seizure/Alasia impression. Are you kidding me? White girls are so lame…

Tyra Mail – “it’s time to take ur campaign underground.” The girls have a subway photoshoot that I like to call “It smell like pee down there!” Thank you Alasia. The girls get to the subway and wait for a train to arrive. Out steps Mr Jay, last year’s midget model winner Nicole (yay!) and a creepy photographer. Nicole’s advice to Angelea to avoid drama in the house? “Stay classy, you know?” Oops, too late! The sorority girls got a real kick outta that one! So, each girl will be a “New York woman” and have to pose in a moving subway car. Mr Jay thought Angelea had her best shoot by far in the competition, she modeled with confidence and a studied poise, and was the surprise of the night! Anslee kept snarling and making the I-smell-stinky-in-the-subway face. Brenda…could you look any worse? She was supposed to look young and fresh. She look old and boring. Alasia walks in all pose-pose-pose and Mr Jay says “CoverGirl, not two dollar hooker.” Bahahaha. Awesome. Oh, and after the shoot, Brenda tells us she has the most edgy look in the house, so she should win best photo. Um, how do you figure that? Oh, right, must be that CRAZY short hair you have. Ugh, get over yourself.

Panel – Tyra thinks the girls look “collectively” better…I think Tyra should have paid more attention at dressing-for-your-body-type class. Another wide shouldered, high-waist belted, giant hip, tapered leg disaster of a pantsuit. Yikes. I think Dianne Watts could show this lady a thing or two about the pantsuit!

Ok, here’s what kind of New York woman each model was supposed to be in her photoshoot:

Krista “aspiring actress” – Beautiful photo. Finally! This looked like a real CoverGirl shot.

Anslee “artist” – The little smirk wins over the judges.

Alexandra “upper east sider” – Another believable CoverGirl ad. Nigel thinks this is her best shot yet, and Ann would book her in a heartbeat. “This is a face that’s gonna sell makeup.” Well you can’t beat that! Or can you…

Angelea “fashionista” – Andre and Nigel are in love with this shot, sounds like a winner to me.

Raina “east village rockabilly” – No neck…that’s never good. But Andre still wants to see more from Raina. I bet.

Jessica “club goer” – I guess she stuck with the theme, cause she showed up in some skanky shoes that earned her Andre’s dreck-of-the-week prize. And she defended her shoes all the way. Gold shoes with blue flowers? Bitch, please. Back to the photos…Jessica looked confused and not very CoverGirl. The judges aren’t impressed with her “fake confidence.”

Brenda “student” – Blah, she looked like a mannequin. “No fire, no desire.” Sounds like trouble!

Alasia “model on a go-see” - Uh oh. We all know this can’t go well…and it doesn’t. This shot is also boring. But she looks more like a young student than Brenda. Just saying.

Sounds like the bottom two are going to be Brenda and Alasia. But first things first, best photo of the week goes to…Angelea. That one was obvious. Followed by Krista, Raina, Alexandra, Anslee and Jessica - who's giving attitude right til the end. Lil ho. And of course the bottom two are Brenda, who never got over her hair, and Alasia, who screwed up this week. And thank GOD, it’s Brenda who finally gets the boot.

Stay tuned for the next episode...which i may or may not be watching and recapping from a beach in Mexico. Adios amigos!