ANTM Episode 7 – Big Hair Day

After Angelea’s number one picture last week, she won’t shut up about how great she is. And Krista’s decided she’s gonna get the number one pic this week. Alexandra’s getting frustrated because she sucks. Raina misses Brenda and doesn’t know what she’ll do if Jessica goes home…oh, I wish... Anslee’s still going on about her baby and baby daddy.

Whitney from the hills/the city shows up…are you kidding me? What is this bullshit! She’s joined by former guest judge and former model Pat Cleveland, who talks with each of the girls about who they are…snooze. The girls get to dress up in Whitney’s clothing line – omg, lucky! – and go out for the night. They show up at a seedy drag queen bar (is there another kind of drag queen bar?) and apparently Jessica is afraid of drag queens. Golly dang! She’s literally hiding behind someone. Too bad it’s Pat Cleveland, cause I’m not sure she isn’t a drag queen herself! And speaking of drag queens, Miss J comes out and announces that this will be a runway challenge with personality. The girls will have to show off their personality that Pat coached them on earlier. The audience voted by applause, and Krista’s mannequin turn won her the challenge. Anslee, however, got zero applause. Silence. Ouch. But I think she was right, she was being herself, and that was the point of the challenge!

Tyra Mail – “2morrow could be a hairy situation, don’t get tangled.” The girls meet Mr Jay, who tells them about their photoshoot – their outfit will consist entirely of…hair. Ew. Another idea Tyra stole from someone else, of course. The girls are divided into 2 teams and each has a crazy hair stylist captain. This is too weird for words. One team is Weaven Steven with Krista, Angelea, Raina and Anslee. The other is Derek J with Alasia, Jessica and Alexandra. I don’t really get the point of the whole team thing, they were basically just split up and told to heckle the girls on the opposite team. Lame. Alasia’s dress looked like a rooster tail and Alexandra’s made her look like a big hairy pear. Yuck. This photoshoot is disgusting. And it looks like the only thing that might save Alasia is Alexandra’s shitty performance.

And just when I thought Tyra couldn’t get any crazier…the girls get to judging, and all the judges are acting tired and decide to take a nap. But they can’t sleep. So in walks a shepherd, and he supposedly leads in sheep…which are surrounded by CG fog, and clearly not even in the room, but the girls are looking down and oohing and aahing at the ground for effect. There’s something about counting sheep and catching zees, so the judges start pulling Z’s out of clouds above their heads. Wtf is with this stupid effin show! Worst thing I’ve ever seen. Tyra pulls down on a big letter Z, and down comes a New Zealand poster. The 6 remaining girls will be going to New Zealand. At this point, I don’t really care, and I just threw the remote at the tv. Let’s just look at the pictures already…

Jessica’s picture is just okay. Krista looks like an effin ostrich. Bahaha. But I guess the judges don’t think so, cause they’re impressed. Anslee looks like she’s shitting a bird’s nest. The judges think she’s a little stiff and only like her face in this shot. Hm, I wonder why. Maybe because she’s wearing an outfit made of HAIR. Alasia’s shot looks great, but she didn’t have any variety in her film. Alexandra. Blah. Blah with a 50’s face. Angelea looks ridiculous and her outfit looks too loose, but the crazy judges like it. I think she looks confused. Raina gets the same critique as always, the judges just love her no matter what. I think they should vote off guest judge Whitney whatsherface for being useless and looking even worse. Tyra announces that the best photo winner will get to fly first class on the 22 hour flight to New Zealand. And the top photo goes to Krista, followed by Angelea, Raina, Jessica and Alasia. So the bottom two are pretty but bland Anslee and pretty decent but lacking desire Alexandra. And the girls who’s going home is…Anslee.

I think that’s one of my girls…is it bad if I can’t remember?