ANTM Episode 9 – Hobbits vs Models (I really think they shoulda called this one 'Oh Mylanta!')

This week’s intro/synopsis: Alexandra’s ready to get rid of the skinny tarts. Krista still looks like an old man. Raina’s eyebrows are taking over the apartment. Jessica doesn’t like mean girls. Alexandra and Krista is mean girls.

Tyra Mail – “Who says u can’t fit a square peg in 2 a round hole?” This doesn’t sound good at all. The girls meet Mr Jay at Hobbiton, aka The Shire from the Lord of the Rings movie set. With Jay is Sarah McLeod, who played Rosie in the LOTR movies. Really? Rosie. Who cares? Well not Angelea, cause she has NO idea wtf is going on. She doesn’t even know what a Hobbit is. Well hopefully that doesn’t matter, because this is a photoshoot challenge. Each girl will have only 5 frames, and have to pose in a hobbit’s doorway without looking absolutely ridiculous. Turns out this isn’t really a big deal, it’s just a pose in a circle. Meh. And the winner of the challenge is…Krista. And since she won last week’s best photo, she gets the $3000 prize from the designer AND the extra $1500 bonus shwag. Bu-ooh! Angelea is pissed, but who wouldn’t be when they just lost to an effin’ old man. The new mean girl alliance takes this opportunity to make fun of Angelea’s club walk for what seems like an hour. Lame. Girls are stupid.

Tyra Mail – “If u want 2 be a true top model, u might have 2 shadow 1.” Oh Mylanta! The girls head to a vineyard where they will have to find the light, like grapes on the vine. A bit of a stretch, Jay. And then, Oh Mylanta, Tyra Banks appears, she’s going to be the photographer this week! Well that explains the weird photoshoot idea. Tyra talks to the girls about what look she wants to give each of them, then she leaves them to practice their smize in the mirror. All the girls are giving themselves their fiercest looks. And then there’s Jessica. She has no idea what she’s doing. For the photoshoot, the girls have their hair caked with clay and they have to pose in the shadow of different fabrics and patterns that are held over them. Tyra keeps telling them to look like they have a secret that they don’t want to tell. Or that they do want to tell. Ugh. Shut it.

Oh Mylanta, it’s elimination time. Alexandra’s picture is beautiful. She’s finally standing out. There’s not much shadow for her to push through, but maybe that’s what makes it even more impressive. She can actually look good. The judges think she looks exotic. Wow, I really didn’t see that one coming! For real. Raina isn’t so great this week. For the first time, the judges have more criticism than love for her eyebrows…I mean, photo. Angelea also has a good shot, but her eyes aren’t focused on anything. Jessica’s is just sort of…blah. You can’t really see her face, and Tyra tells her the shadow is wearing her, and not the other way around. Um, you put a big nasty wicker chair right in front of her face, of course it looks like shit. Krista’s shot seems to be the favourite, and Tyra pretty much tells her she’s gonna win the whole thing. A+. EFF. And so, best photo goes to Krista. Really, it’s not that great. I thought Alexandra’s was better, but she gets runner-up again this week. Then comes Angelea. And that leaves Raina and Jessica are in the bottom two. And the loser is…Jessica. Oh Mylanta, Raina’s safe for another week!